Let the censoring begin....

In fifteen+ years of parenting, I have never, not once, told any of my children that they were not allowed to read a certain book. Ever. It is just not something I've ever felt I had to do.

Partly because we are pretty liberal with what we allow:  I don't mind make-believe, even of the magical, wizardy sort. Or of the killing bad guys sort. Or really any type of make-believe, at all. Because, well, make believe is exactly that -- made up. Not real. And I think most kids understand that difference, even if they later run around acting out scenes from the make believe.

I know, for instance, that my boys know that pointing a stick and yelling, "Expeliarmus!" at their brothers will not, in fact, cause the brother(s) to drop whatever they are using for a wand. Even when an indulging big brother pretends that the fake spell did, in fact, work, I know that the little brother still knows it is all pretend.

So I don't mind them delving into fantasy, and adventure tales, and worlds of talking cats and half-blood kids who are part Greek gods, and wand-wielding teenagers, and what have you. I don't. Even when sometimes they come to me and report that this wonderful series has a bad word (or three) in it.

But today my oldest was found reading a book that gave me pause. For the first time in my parenting career, ever. He is of an age where make-believe has given way to realism, where the tales he picks up are firmly rooted in reality, giving a version of real life, of what is, not what could maybe be. Suddenly, this makes a difference.

What an uncomfortable place this is for me.

I have a deeply ingrained belief that censorship is wrong. Period. And I've let that color my parenting; I'm the parent who goes out and buys the books from the Banned Books list, who scoffs at those who allow X while prohibiting Y. I'm eating my words a little bit today.

You see, this book that my boy wanted to read -- had, in fact, started to read -- portrays a slice of reality that I just don't think he's ready for. More importantly, what finally pushed me to flat out tell him he's not allowed to read this book just yet, is that he showed me he's not ready for it yet.

As I explained to him the many things about the book that made me uncomfortable, the many things which I knew would also make him uncomfortable, my son portrayed a bit of innocence about these topics.  Okay, a lot of innocence. Innocence that I was touched to see, but that confirmed to me that this book is not the proper book for stripping that innocence away.

I'm not trying to shield him forever. I know that he will, gradually, come to an awareness of all the topics in this book. And I'm okay with that. But I am not okay with handing him this book to strip all of that away at once.

I can't explain all of the whys about this; it comes down to one thing. My gut, which never ever says "you can't read that!", screamed at me this time, loud and clear. When I saw the book in his hand, I was gripped with....something. Not fear, it wasn't that, but a deep-seated discomfort. And that never happens to me. I don't say no to books. Ever.

Until now. Because old enough, mature enough, nearly adult enough -- all of that might be true. But so is still innocent enough; innocent enough that this book would pull back a curtain he's not ready to peek behind. And as his mom, it's my job to keep that curtain closed a little bit longer; to give him permission, in the guise of my prohibition, to not peek yet.

And that's a more comfortable place, for both of us, even though it's a parenting first I never imagined having. 

Books: The Diary Quilt Wouldn't be Complete Without Them....

Books
What do you think -- add titles to the books, or leave them blank?

I love books.

I teach my boys at home. With books.

I've been reading since I was four, and have rarely been without a book since.

When we moved to Brazil, one-third of the boxes we packed and shipped over contained books, and that was the barest of the bare essentials; we did, painful as it was for me, leave some behind. Even gave some away.

I read on a Kindle now, but anything I already own in paper form is staying. I still read those, too.

This block is about all of that. About me, about reading, about my passion for reading. About teaching my boys, using books. Real books. Books they read over and over and over again.

It's a tribute to the many people in my life who helped me fall in love with reading. A tribute to the literature rich curriculum we use in our home school. A tribute to the years of bonding over books that I have had, will have, with my boys.  A tribute to the friends, real life & on-line, who've helped me along the way, encouraging me in my teaching endeavors. It's a tribute, most of all, to the single thing I love most in this world (as far as objects go): Books.  

To all the friends, characters in print, who filled my teenage years.

To good and untame lions and a world on the other side of a wardrobe door.

To Romeo & Juliet, Hamlet, Rosencrantz & Guildenstern.

To a wise lawyer, raising his tomboy girl & football loving son, teaching them to climb inside someone's skin....or stand on his front porch....and see the world through someone else's eyes.

To a tight-knit band of teenage boys, fighting against society, who taught me what being Golden is all about and then made me cry like never before when a gallant young man was shot beneath a street light.

To a Bulldog and his Prince, now out of print and my copy ruined, who endured much at the hands of a boarding school headmaster who was a little bit "off," yet who found true friendship in each other.

To a young college graduate, who died too young but taught me that love means not having to say you're sorry. Because you're forgiven before the words leave your lips.

To the friends I didn't make until later.

A boy who grows from 11 to 18, learning what it means to do the right thing, to believe in something and to stand for something bigger than yourself.


To Pooh, with no shirt, and Piglet in green, and saying goodbye to Christopher Robin, the most poignant goodbye in literature if you ask me.

To a little Chinese immigrant to the United States, who learns baseball and how to mimic cartoon characters and how to make her American classmates laugh, and who helped me help  my boys learn to live in Brazil.


To a real life mariner who lived a heartbreaking life and made me cry buckets. 

To the Austin family and Charles Wallace and Meg and adventures that moved me way beyond.


To a clockwork man, and the boy who built him, who was introduced to me by my oldest son, a friend that he discovered on his own.

To elves and dwarfs and hobbits and men, who together journey an impossible journey to destroy the greatest evil they've ever known, and to my Chemist who first made me read of their tales.

To so many more, old friends, new friends, yet to come friends. Because nothing's better than books. 


What is your favorite book? And how many of mine do you recognize? And, most pressing, should I embroider titles on the books in the block, or leave them blank.......and if I should, how on earth do I narrow it to six books?? 

Book Review (by my 10 year old): Harry Potter Deathly Hallows

The  older two boys have been reading the Harry Potter series in anticipation of the release of the final movie installment.  Both boys are determined to finish the full series before the July 15 debut of HP7pt2, or Harry Potter 7 Part 2. We fully intend to see the movie opening weekend if at all possible.

While The Writer is not yet done, The Artist, age 10, finished Book 7 this past week. He was thrilled. I was thrilled. We've had a few (very brief) conversations about the book  -- things like, "What was your favorite part??" answered by, "Umm, the end."  And, "Was it sad? What did you think about......was that surprising?"  answered by, "Yea."

In  order to find out a little more, I handed The Artist my newest Secret Weapon for school -- a Book Review Book Mark. The boys will fill one out for every school book they read this year, fiction and non fiction. Sometimes they'll have to turn these comments into an actual paper in paragraph form, but for Harry Potter I decided the book mark was enough.

Without further ado, here's what The Artist, age 10, thinks about Harry Potter - Deathly Hallows.

Title: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Author: J. K. Rowling
Type of book (mystery, sci fi, etc.):  fantasy
Setting (where/when):  Hogwarts, London
Main Characters:  Harry Potter, Ronald Weasely, Hermione Granger
Brief Summary:  It's about three teenage wizards going on an adventure to stop a great evil
Rate the book from 1 (best) to 10 (worst):  1
Describe your favorite part of the book:  the end and the epilogue
Describe your favorite character in the book:  I like Harry Potter cause he defeats You Know Who
Explain why you would  or would not recommend this book: (no answer given)

So, wow. I feel a bit bittersweet that my boy has read this most wonderful book. I have to tell you, The Artist was around 6.5 yrs before he started reading and 7 at least before he was reading fluently. So, for him now, at 10, to be reading books like Harry Potter.....just wow. Helps the bittersweet that it is a book series that has had a pretty big impact on me....the emotion in book seven gets me every time.

But this isn't my review, this is The Artist's review, so I'll stop typing now. Except, let me just say that I love love LOVE his brief summary: "...three...wizards going on an adventure to stop a great evil."  Yep, I'd say he got the gist of it.

What about you? Read it? Or not? Love it, or hate it? Interested to hear what you think on the matter!

What Has Sonlight Curriculum Done for Me?

Luke, over at his Sonlight Blog, recently asked "What has Sonlight done for you, the teacher, during your homeschool journey?"  

Wow. What a question.

We've been using Sonlight Curriculum for, oh, 9+ years now. We first picked up a Sonlight catalog way back in March of 2001, at the suggestion of my Aunt Nancy, when The Writer was just 3.5 years old and trying to correct me on phonics rules. We've used Sonlight ever since, never looking back, never wanting to try anything else.

The benefits to the boys have been huge, but that's not what this post is about.  No, Luke wanted to know what Sonlight's done for me. The mom. The teacher. Well, settle in, this is likely to get a little bit long, because the benefits for me, the teacher, are many.

The biggest benefit to me is the support. Sonlight provides an on-line Forum, a whole community of other moms (and some dads) who are, or recently have been, or maybe are getting ready to, homeschooling with Sonlight. I can go there with any question imaginable, and someone will know the answer.

Not just questions about homeschooling stuff, either. Questions or discussion on homemaking. Health. International living. Parenting. Current events. Entertainment. Subject specific questions. Grade-level/Core program specific questions. Prayer requests. And anything and everything in between. Seriously.

For me, living as an American in Brazil, where homeschool support is, understandably, zero, this has been priceless. I can jump on-line at any time of day (assuming my internet is working) and write a question, like my math scheduling question from my last post. Within a few hours, sometimes a few minutes!, I can check back and someone will have answered. Or lots of someones.

In the past week, I've used the forums to ask about scheduling Miquon math and how to schedule a research paper for The Writer. I've answered someone else's question about what I'd do differently if I were starting over.  I wrote a thank you note for advice on what TV shows are good enough to buy on DVD, and safe enough for the whole family to watch. I've read up on how other ex-pats are coping with living outside their home countries, and learned what's going on in the world and how people are reacting to what's going on.

This is the kind of conversation I just don't get here, living where I do. The kind of conversation, the kind of community, that I only get through my blog (thanks to you guys), through email with a few friends back home (hi Robin and JM), and through the Sonlight Forums.

But, aside from this community, what else has Sonlight done for me? I mean, one day I'll be back in the US and have real life homeschool friends again, and community won't be as vital a need for me then. Just like it wasn't as vital a need for me before we came here. Surely there are other benefits, right??

Of course there are! The next big thing I've received from Sonlight is the Instructor's Guide (the IG). Every book we'll use in a year, perfectly scheduled. Two schedules to choose from, even, so that I have flexibility within that structure. Notes, vocabulary words, mapping assignments, timeline assignments. Comprehension questions and discussion questions for many, if not all, of the books. Things so beautifully laid out that I don't have to rearrange unless I just want to (and sometimes I do).

This is worth it's weight in gold (and being a hefty, and heavy, book, that's saying a lot!). So far, with every Core we've used thus, I have been able to pick up the Core, open the IG, and teach. I merely have to check off what we've done, and not turn the page until we've finished everything laid out for that week. Or I can pick and choose if I like. Either way, the bulk of the work is done for me. Love love LOVE that.

Now -- what about choosing books? How do I know they're good books?? Well, I know because I trust Sonlight. I know if they've chosen to include it, it's worth reading. Which means I can, if I want, just hand the boys their books and tell them what to read, when. I don't have to pre-read and make sure everything is safe for them. I love that. Now, I still do pre-read, because, well, they're good books! But if I ever don't, that will be okay. What a relief that is!

The biggest thing, though.....confidence. I've never second-guessed my curriculum choices. I've never worried, "Am I doing enough?? Are they learning enough??" I've never wondered if I can do this job, because  Sonlight has fully equipped me, with the IG, to do it and do it well.

I've never wondered if I'm good enough, because I've heard, through the constant encouragement on the Forums, that I am (good enough).

I've seen, if only on-line, kids grow up and graduate after using Sonlight materials for school. I've read of kids, Sonlight Grads, going on to really top notch colleges and universities.  I've talked to friends who've used Sonlight, whose kids are older and graduated, and seen that it really does work, and all kinds of people can do this and do it well.

So I don't have to doubt, I don't have to worry or wonder.  I know that Sonlight curriculum can, and does, and will work, because I've seen it in action. I know that I can teach it to my children, because so many other moms and dads just like me are doing it, have done it, and done it well.

So, what has Sonlight done for me? Sonlight has given me community. Sonlight has equipped me to teach my children. Sonlight has encouraged me that I can teach my children. In other words, Sonlight has made me the confident, successfuly homeschooling mom that I am today, and given me joy in what could be a chore if I didn't have the right tools and support.

That's what Sonlight has done for me, the mom, the teacher. I hope you like that answer, Luke. It's just the plain, honest truth. 

Favorite Sonlight Book? An Impossible Question....

Luke, over at the Sonlight Blog (Sonlight Curriculum being our curriculum of choice for the boys), posed a question on his blog today -- What is your favorite Sonlight book? He challenged us, his readers, to blog the answer.

I told him I can't do it.

See, the thing is, Sonlight books are amazing. Wonderful. Awesome. Choosing a favorite is like choosing a favorite child. I can't do it. I love all my boys, equally. In different ways, yes. Different things about them, yes. But do I love one less than the other? No way. Not possible. Not even on the worst of days, when I was sleep deprived and stressed and depressed and angry and completely not enjoying motherhood -- not even on those days would I have said with any honesty that I loved any one of my children less than the others, even the one who was the source of all the stress at the time.

So it is with Sonlight books. Some days, I've wished we weren't reading about the Civil War - again. Still. For the hundredth time. Some days I wanted to chunk a book across the room because I was sick of crying every time I turned the page. Some days I admit to being bored, even while my boys absorbed information I knew they needed. Some days I admit to being driven to distraction by the cartoon style, 'jump around the page' layout of the various Usborne books that Sonlight includes in their curriculum, nevermind those are the very books my boys go back to over and over and over again. And yet, ask me to choose a favorite and I can't do it. There's not a single one I love any more than any of the others.

We have used 8 different programs (called Cores) over the years. Each one of those programs includes roughly 50 books. That's around 400 books I've read over the years, all as part of school for the boys. To choose a favorite is impossible. In fact, it is easier for me to tell you books I didn't like --I can count on one hand those titles-- than to name books I loved more than the rest.  But that's not what Luke asked, so I'll try and do the impossible.

Now, the favorite book I've ever read, of all time, is To Kill a Mockingbird. It does happen to be a title that Sonlight uses, though we aren't there yet. Anyone who's read TKaM though knows it is fabulous. Still, as I read it outside the scope of Sonlight, I don't feel it's fair to talk about in this post.

Instead, I sit here looking at my bookshelves, full of Sonlight Cores. We're currently using three programs - Core K, Core 3 and Core 5. I see so many favorites.

From Core K - Twenty and Ten, a story of school children helping one another during World War II. Or The Hundred Dresses, a story of a little girl, growing up in poverty but choosing to create her own contentment rather than be saddened by the reality of her situation.  Or Capyboppy, a fun tale of a boy and his very strange pet. Or Fun Tales, which are helping The Adventurer realize that each letter does make a certain sound, and will one day (soon?) give him the confidence that he can, in fact, decode those mysterious letters and turn them into words.

Or from Core 3 - Johnny Tremain, which I loved so much when I was a child that I couldn't wait for my boys to read it. Or Calico Bush, so heart-wrenching I bawled like a baby. Or Carry On, Mr. Bowditch, which weaves a lesson on daring to challenge the norm, be a problem solver, use your brain even when people are skeptical, and the ability to succeed if you put your mind to it - all set in amongst life, and family, and friendship and the stark realities of life on the seas and the tragedy that so often befell sailors of years gone by. With a history lesson thrown in there, too.  Or how can I forget a seemingly boring book called "If You Were There When they Wrote the Constitution," full of facts and knowledge and information, but presented in such a way that The Artist has this week drawn a picture for art class that depicts the revolutionary war and just last night said, "I can't wait to learn about the revolution...." -- all sparked by one little "boring" book about the Constitution.

And then there's Core 5 - The Hobbit. The Incredible Journey. A precious gem called The Cat Who Went to Heaven. Aladdin and Other Favorite Arabian Night Stories. Books so good and so well known they need no description.  And on it goes. You see how hard this is - the books just get better and better each year.

The best part is, they last. The appeal crosses over the years. A book that was a "read aloud" in K will be read again, on the child's own choosing, in later years. Our "books the kids read" shelves contain Sonlight books from all across the ages. Greek Myths for Young Children, scheduled in Core 1, is currently being devoured by both older boys. Usborne Book of World History, also from Core 1, is one of The Artist's favorite books to read and re-read. The many delightful treasuries chosen as part of the earlier Cores get re-read so often I can't keep them on the shelves.

So, Luke, I'm sorry, but I just can't answer your question. I simply don't have a favorite Sonlight book. There are scarcely any I didn't like and way too many I did. Just mark my answer as All of the Above, if you would.

The Big Read: The Top 100

Okay, I'm borrowing this idea from a friend's blog, so, indulge me. It's an easy post, and fun, and ties in with our last conversation, and my goal to read more purposeful books. That goal was sparked by this list, so I thought I'd share it with you. Maybe you'd like to read some of these?

These are the top 100 books printed, and according to one website, most American adults (or the average Joe, anyway) has read 6 of the 100. Six. That's it.

So, here's my list. How do you compare? (I've read 34 of the 100, so far....)

KEY:
* = a book I've read
% = a book I plan to read
** (or more) = a book I LOVE
# = a book I HATE
? = a book I'm not sure if I've read or not


The Big Read – Top 100 Books
Pride & Prejudice -- Jane Austen
** The Lord of the Rings -- J. R. R. Tolkien
*Jane Eyre -- Charlotte Bronte
**Harry Potter series -- J. K. Rowling
*****To Kill a Mockingbird -- Harper Lee

**The Bible

*Wuthering Heights -- Emily Bronte
*1984 -- George Orwell
His Dark Materials -- Philip Pullman
?Great Expectations -- Charles Dickens
**Little Women -- Louisa May Alcott

Tess of the D'Urbervilles -- Thomas Hardy

% Catch 22 -- Joseph Heller

*% Complete Works of Shakespeare -- (have read some, not all, but want to read the rest)

Rebecca -- Daphne du Maurier

*The Hobbit -- J. R. R. Tolkien

Birdsong -- Sebastian Faulks

%Catcher in the Rye -- J. D. Salinger

The Time Traveller's Wife -- Audrey Niffenegger

Middlemarch -- George Eliot

% Gone With the Wind -- Margaret Mitchell

% The Great Gatsby -- F. Scott Fitzgerald

Bleak House -- Charles Dickens

*War and Peace -- Leo Tolstoy

% The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy -- Douglas Adams

Brideshead Revisited -- Evelyn Waugh

*Crime and Punishment -- Fyodor Dostoyevsky

?Grapes of Wrath -- John Steinbeck

*Alice in Wonderland -- Lewis Carroll

The Wind in the Willows -- Kenneth Grahame

%Anna Karenina -- Leo Tolstoy

%David Copperfield -- Charles Dickens

**Chronicles of Narnia -- C. S. Lewis

*Emma -- Jane Austen

Persuasion -- Jane Austen

*The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe -- C. S. Lewis

**The Kite Runner -- Khaled Hosseini

%Captain Corelli's Mandolin -- Louis de Bernieres

*Memoirs of a Geisha -- Arthur Golden

*Winnie the Pooh -- A. A. Milne

*Animal Farm -- George Orwell

*The Da Vinci Code -- Dan Brown

*One Hundred Years of Solitude -- Gabriel Garcia Marquez

A Prayer for Owen Meaney -- John Irving

The Woman in White -- Wilkie Collins

*Anne of Green Gables -- L. M. Montgomery

Far From the Madding Crowd -- Thomas Hardy

The Handmaid's Tale -- Margaret Atwood

*# Lord of the Flies -- William Golding

Atonement -- Ian McEwan

Life of Pi -- Yann Martel

Dune -- Frank Herbert

Cold Comfort Farm -- Stella Gibbons

Sense and Sensibility -- Jane Austen

A Suitable Boy -- Vikram Seth

The Shadow of the Wind -- Carlos Ruiz Zafon

*A Tale of Two Cities -- Charles Dickens

Brave New World -- Aldous Huxley

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time -- Mark Haddon

Love in the Time of Cholera -- Gabriel Garcia Marquez

%Of Mice and Men -- John Steinbeck

Lolita -- Vladimir Nabokov

The Secret History -- Donna Tartt

The Lovely Bones -- Alice Sebold

%Count of Monte Cristo -- Alexandre Dumas

On the Road -- Jack Kerouac

Jude the Obscure -- Thomas Hardy

%Bridget Jones's Diary -- Helen Fielding

Midnight's Children -- Salman Rushdie

*Moby Dick -- Herman Melville

? Oliver Twist -- Charles Dickens

Dracula -- Bram Stoker

**The Secret Garden -- Frances Hodgson Burnett

Notes From a Small Island -- Bill Bryson

Ulysses -- James Joyce

The Bell Jar -- Sylvia Plath

Swallows and Amazons -- Arthur Ransome

Germinal -- Emile Zola

Vanity Fair -- William Makepeace Thackeray

Possession -- A. S. Byatt

*A Christmas Carol -- Charles Dickens

Cloud Atlas -- David Mitchell

The Color Purple -- Alice Walker

The Remains of the Day -- Kazuo Ishiguro

?Madame Bovary -- Gustave Flaubert

A Fine Balance -- Rohinton Mistry

*Charlotte's Web -- E. B. White

The Five People You Meet in Heaven -- Mitch Albom

*Adventures of Sherlock Holmes -- Arthur Conan Doyle

The Faraway Tree Collection -- Enid Blyton

*# Heart of Darkness -- Joseph Conrad

****The Little Prince -- Antoine De Saint-Exupery

The Wasp Factory -- Iain Banks

Watership Down -- Richard Adams

A Confederacy of Dunces -- John Kennedy Toole

A town Like Alice -- Nevil Shute

The Three Musketeers -- Alexandre Dumas

*Hamlet -- William Shakespeare

**Charlie and the Chocolate Factory -- Roald Dahl

**Les Miserables -- Victor Hugo